YOUR Jokes, Pranks and Riddles
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you?
A: Act like a nut!
Kanzul (10), Invercargill
Q: Why did the boy go fishing on the moon.
A: To catch some starfish
Lily Taylor (12), Waipawa
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that likes to read?
A: A Thesaurus!
Zion Kauie (11), Te Atatu Peninsula
Q: Why did the carrot blush?
A: Because he saw the salad dressing
Lukas Rutland (10), Waipawa
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire…
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
Noah Betteridge (10), Christchurch
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to get to the shops. Did you find that funny? No? Well, neither did the chicken because the shops were closed!
Amber Ray (7), Nelson
Q: What do you call a tired unicorn?
A: A Yawnicorn
Mika Robins (12), Taranaki
Q: Why is Superman’s outfit always so tight on him?
A: It’s a size S
Jessica Holmes (9), Hamilton
Q: What's red and sits in a corner?
A: A naughty school bus.
Aria Weber (13), Fernside
Q: Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?
A: He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
Michael Cranleigh (10), Taranaki
Q: How do you know when Santa’s around?
A: You can always sense his presents.
Claire Smith (12), Invercargill
Q: How do trees get online?
A: They just log in!
Ben Murphy (11), Ngaruawahia
Q: What’s every elf’s favourite type of music?
A: Wrap!
Joshua Wakenshaw (13), Nelson
Q: What’s big and yellow and blue?
A: A bulldozer with jeans on
Pixie Blake (7), Hamilton
Q: You have 10 fish. 5 drown. 3 come back to life, How many fish do you have now?
A: Stop counting, fish don't drown...
Selah Canja (11), Takaanini
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Emma (10), Hastings
Q: What do you call a 3 legged cow?
A: Lean meat.
Rio White (4), Gisborne
Q. Why did it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
A. Because they got stuck at C!
Ayla Crowley (12) Te Awamutu
Other great reader contributed jokes, riddles and pranks…
What did the mama cow say to the calf?
It’s pasture bedtime!
Charlotte Holden (9), Ngaruawahia
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
What are you, an owl?
Lucy Hayes, Dunedin
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
Alexander Rodriguez (8), Wellington
What can you put in a bucket to make it weigh less?
A hole.
Kita Hira (10), Auckland
What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Elijah Hanan (8), Palmerston North
I ate some cat food last night...
Don't ask meow!
Oliver Harnett (10), Christchurch
How do you get Pikachu on the bus?
You Pok-e-mon.
Ryan Edwards (8), Ellerslie
Where do cows go on Friday nights?
They go to the moo-vies!
Cameron Holmes (5), Hamilton
Why did the long fish go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't eeling well!
Zoe Facer (8), Springlands
Why did the Irish man double-check before crossing the road?
To be sure to be sure.
Kayden Henery (10) Invercargill
What do you call a fat squash?
A pumpkin.
Cameron Dixon (11), Wellington
What do you call someone with no Nose and No body?
Nobody knows.
Titan Coleman (10), Nelson
Riddle: Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were Triplets. What was the mother's name.
Answer: "What" because there’s no question mark.
Mia Reardon (9), Queenstown
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?"
Because every play has a cast!
Ben Murphy, Ngaruawahia
What is a cheese that doesn’t belong to you called?
Nacho cheese!
Lyra King (7), Nelson
How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash?
With quit-itch
William Scott Harwood (6), Pleasant Point
What kind of dog does a magician have?
A Labracadabrador!
Samara Beck (12), Invercargill
What do you get when you cross a jet with a hamburger?
Very Fast Food!
Kaydin Turnbull (11), Hamilton
What do you get if you cross a cat with a lemon?
A Sour Puss!!
Luke Jones (13), Tauranga
Why can’t you iron a four-leaf clover?
Because you shouldn’t press your luck.
Ella Ambrosio (7), Auckland
What do you call it when the Queen goes to the bathroom?
A royal flush.
Lucas Smith (10), Hastings
What's Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forrest1
Tukotahi Trewin (8), Auckland
What do you call a deer with no eyes.
No idea (no eye deer)
Harry Roberts (9), Christchurch
What did one kiwi statue say to the other kiwi statue?
Stat'chu bro?
Rome Rawiri (9), Wellington
Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing!
Tommy J (5), Auckland
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A ba-boom!
Oliver Dooge-Lee (12), Nelson
Why did the two 4s skip dinner?
Because they already 8.
Grace Kane (12), Taupiri
Why did the man with one arm cross the road?
To go to the second-hand shop!
BB Coomer (9), Christchurch
What is worse than a bull in China shop?
A porcupine in a balloon factory.
Olliver Pask (13), Taupo
What do you call a caveman's fart?
A blast from the past.
Aldric Quilantang (11), Otahuhu
Riddle: I’m a bird, a person, and a fruit. What am I?Answer: A Kiwi.
Lyra King (8), Nelson
How do you make a milkshake?
You sneak up behind a glass of milk and say BOO!!
Izzabella Montford (12), Levin
Why did the sausage dog stay in the shade?
Because he didn't want to become a hotdog!
Charlie, Saint Benedicts School, Wellington
Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little horse!
Amanda Pickles (11), Homeschool, Taupo
What do you get when you Cross a Crocodile and a Camera?
A Snapshot
Dawood Parkar (11), Mt Roskill Intermediate
What did the farmer say when his toe got run over?
Call the toe truck!
Jorja Isbister (8), Oamaru
Two Zebras were debating whether they should cross the road.
“Let’s cross the road,” says Zebra 1.
Zebra 2 points at the pedestrian crossing and says “Look what happened to the last zebra who crossed the road!”
Jason (12), Waipa Christian School, Te Awamutu
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing a spinning insect.
Doctor: Don't worry, It's just a bug that's going around.
Sumvidh Bharadwaj (9), Adventure School, Porirua
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!”
Sophia Craw (7), Palmerston North
RIDDLE: What goes up and down but doesn't move?ANSWER: Stairs!
Lexi Wanden (10), Homeschool, Tirau
RIDDLE: What has four wheels and flies?
ANSWER: A garbage truck!
Cash King (11), Waimea intermediate, Nelson
What did the cupcake tell it’s frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.
Jackie (11), Sylvia Park School, Auckland
What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days.
Cody (13), Tawa College, Wellington
What type of haircut does a bee have?
A buzzcut!
Max (11), Richmond Primary School, Tasman
What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
You look a bit flushed!
Violet (7), Pukete School, Hamilton
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Braithan (10), Waiuku Primary School, Auckland
What do you call someone who dances in the sink?
A tap dancer.
Austin (10), St Patrick’s Catholic School, Taupo
Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a watermelon!
Derek (8), Scots College, Wellington
What did the pen say to the pencil?
You’re looking sharp!
Tom (5), Matawai School, Gisborne
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
Aston (11), Wakaaranga School, Auckland